Wow, it's about that time

Hard to believe surgery is tomorrow. I'm anxious in an excited way but also in a nervous one. While I have expressed I have felt the need to bite my tongue because I am so tired of people telling me fear is not of God. Really? If fear isn't of God then explain to me how one can say they are God fearing? Ugh, this is not the venue for the argument and I just do not have the fight in me.

Liquid diet began the day after Thanksgiving. That morning I weighed 296.2. Tonight I weight 283.4. Looks like I will not pass my 14 marker as I should be back down to that when I weigh in the morning. This makes me sad in a way because I've really only had liquids for 12 days now and I expected to lose more but in all honesty not one day have I drank all 4 shakes and more protein probably would've resulted in more pounds lost. This was hard and I will admit in this venue that I did cheat a few times. I had a spoon of peanut butter, a can of tomato soup, and I ate the skin off a piece of fried chicken. Well not the entire skin, I got a little sick from the first few bites of it.

I'm ready to put this behind me. God, I pray it's Your will there are no complications! I cannot say how many times over the past 12 days that I have thought about chickening out. That amount has doubled in the past 48 hours. As of now, I think I am going through with it. I truly hope I do not regret this decision because once it's done there is no looking back. With that said I have to say there is no way Dr. Kim would have the certifications, recognition, etc. if he wasn't qualified and I have to trust he is capable.

I feel like I should be saying so much, yet I'm just not feeling it. I need to go fix my bag and clean my room a bit. Say a prayer for both Dr. Kim and me tomorrow. Surgery is scheduled for 11:45am if he is not running behind on other surgeries. The surgery could take anywhere from 2-5 hours. One of my brother's is taking me to the hospital. I've forbidden Keenan to take off work but told him to come afterwards. I will try to post on FB and send a mass text later tomorrow. They are not going to let me sleep, I have to get up and do a lot of walking to even have half a chance of going home Friday. Sometime Friday I will have a x-ray and a swallow to ensure there are no leaks in my new, smaller stomach.

I know I can do this. Heck, Dr. Kim is doing all the work. Thanks again for your support!! I'll blog again over the weekend or first of the week.

Luv ya--Q